The words “mother-in-law” are enough to strike fear in some women’s hearts, but I have had nothing but wonderful experiences with mine. Knock on wood though.
Our situation
When I first married my husband I was 24 and very green in the way of motherhood and being a wife. My husband had been widowed with three kids before we married. A ready made family is what I walked into. My family is a blessing, but it was tough. I had never cooked for myself much less for a group of 5. And what’s worse is I knew a total of about 3 recipes. Chicken was terrifying. Hello salmonella!
I felt like I needed to learn parenting, cooking, house management, and several other skills in a matter of months. As I’m sure you can guess. I failed miserably. My mother-in-law has helped me with so much over the years. My mom is phenomenal as well, and I am so grateful for all her help and guidance. However, my mother-in-law brought a new culture and skill set that I had never been around before.
What is Mennonite?
I’ll never forget on our second date I discussed with my husband his faith and religion. He said he was Mennonite, and my response was “Does that mean you believe in Jesus?”
As someone who grew up Baptist and nondenominational and being someone who wasn’t consistent with church until the end of college I had never heard of Mennonite. So in case you’re like me here is a very brief description of this denomination.
Here is a brief description of Mennonites from mennoniteusa.org. “Mennonites are Anabaptists, which is a faith stream within Christianity. Anabaptism grew out of the 16th-century Radical Reformation (which followed the Protestant Reformation). Technically, Anabaptists are neither Catholic nor Protestant, although they do share some beliefs of both.”
Jobs/ chores on specific days of the week
She has taught me many things, but this one helped me run our large family household. She told me to assign certain chores to specific days of the week. Laundry is for Mondays. Bathrooms are for Tuesdays. Kitchen and sweeping are for Wednesday’s…etc.
When she first told me this part of me wanted to roll my eyes. Clearly she didn’t realize how much laundry accumulated in our house. I couldn’t only do laundry on Mondays! The bathrooms needed my attention all the time, and come on we have two dogs we need to sweep more often than once a week.
But here’s what I quickly learned. When I have so many jobs to do, I end up doing half of some of them instead of completing any. I got so overwhelmed with everything I had to do, so I would end up getting nothing done. It’s no fun to have a load of laundry sitting in the washer for several days, bathrooms with clean mirrors but disgusting toilets, and a freshly swept living room but dusty floors everywhere else! So I finally acknowledged my defeat and tried it her way. Here’s how it went.
When I spent an entire day doing laundry, I was able to get all the laundry done. Yes. I know. Mind-blowing right? What I mean is, I was able to wash everything and finish the entire job. All clothes were washed, dried, divided, and given to the kids to put up. I was even able to tackle towels and sheets on laundry day. And because I did all the laundry on this day I typically only had to do one maintenance load throughout the week.
This is such a basic idea, but totally revolutionary in my household management!
Cooking
So again, cooking was hard for me at first. I had about 3 go to meals, and after that it was fast food. My mother-in-law has been so helpful. Between cook books, ideas, and suggestions I have increased my cooking exponentially. Soups and desserts are her specialties. I’ve been so grateful to learn from her in those areas.
I’ve also starting learning the art of bread making. I love bread, and it’s even better when it’s homemade. But she has also taught me that not every meal has to be special. Sometimes just something to fill our bellies is more than enough. I no longer have any guilt or concerns over making very basic and quick meals, because I know sometimes life is crazy and just to have dinner at all is a blessing. I am grateful she has and is still helping me with this lifelong skill while also holding space for the realities of a busy life with 4 kids.
Cleaning but acceptance
Did you know window cleaning is more than Windex and a rag? I truly had no idea until marrying Wes. Coming into the marriage I was relatively clean (some of my college roommates would disagree, but I’ve grown since then!), but I only had myself to worry about. I had a system when I lived alone, but once I moved into a family home it was total chaos all the time. I am the kind of person who gets overwhelmed by my surroundings. Legos, dinosaurs, costumes, and trash (what is it with kids and trash?? They’re like magnets to it) always laying around was enough to drive me to the edge of insanity. Cindy taught me how important maintaining a home is, but more than that she taught me applicable ways to maintain it.
Despite all her applicable knowledge, she also taught me to accept things in this season. My husband and I are in a season with 4 kids at home. So my clean and someone else’s clean might not align. That doesn’t mean to let the house go wild, but it also means allowing myself some grace if it’s not perfect. I am still working on this because I love a clean and tidy house. I’ll get there, and I know one day I won’t have kids in the house and that will be a new battle in of itself. For today, I’ll work on my heart posture when I see the dinosaurs sprawled out on the living room floor or the towel not hung in the bathroom, knowing that one day I might actually miss it. I sincerely doubt that, but maybe.
Thank you, Cindy!
My mother-in-law has been such a blessing to my life. I am so glad I have been able to learn from her. She is a deep well full or wisdom, instruction, and skills. I am blessed to be in her family. I know I will c
